Grieving the loss of a spouse can feel paralyzing. Your spouse may have been the person you talked to first thing in the morning and last thing at night, with whom you made every important decision, and who knew your routines and worries better than anyone. Whether you’ve lost your husband, wife, or long-term partner, grieving your spouse can affect your sense of identity, health, home life, and feelings about the future.
One review found that bereavement is associated with negative impacts on physical and psychological health, especially in the first few months.[1] If your grief feels unbearable or is affecting your ability to function, grief counseling and therapy can provide meaningful support.[2]
There’s no right way to grieve the loss of your spouse. But understanding where the feelings come from and the support available can help you begin to heal. This article will cover:
Grief can affect people in many different ways, and symptoms can change from day to day or even hour to hour. Common symptoms of grief after losing a spouse or partner include:[2][3][4]
The grieving process impacts more than your mind, and can cause symptoms in your body too. When your daily routines, emotional support system, and safety net are all affected, it makes sense that your body feels off. Your nervous system is responding to the loss, and that response can be exhausting.
While these symptoms are normal parts of grieving your spouse, they can cause problems if they linger for a long time. Without the right help, symptoms can get worse and prevent you from working, caring for yourself, or feeling safe. Treatment, including grief therapy and counseling, can provide support if you’re experiencing persistent symptoms that affect daily life.[2][3]
Grief after losing a spouse is described as “complicated grief” when it remains intense and begins to impact daily tasks and responsibilities. You may feel unable to:
Complicated grief after a spouse’s death may meet the diagnostic criteria for prolonged grief disorder. For this diagnosis, symptoms must last at least twelve months in adults and cause extreme distress or impair functioning.[3][5]
Spouse death grief can be unique from other losses because partners are involved in almost every aspect of our everyday lives. They may have been the person with whom you split tasks, raised children, made financial decisions, or simply sat next to on the couch at the end of the day. When that person is gone, the absence is felt everywhere.
Widow’s grief can also bring a sense of lost identity. Some days, you may not stop crying. Other days, you may feel numb and unable to cry at all. You may even feel guilty if you feel relief after your spouse passed away, especially if they had a hard time near the end.[3][6]
But grief may require support if grief symptoms do not begin to ease up over time or if they overwhelm your ability to function in daily life. A grief therapist can help you:[3][4][5]
Grief can impact how you:
For many grieving individuals, pain can come in waves, whether it be from a triggering memory, an upcoming anniversary, or those quiet moments when you’re suddenly hit with how alone you feel without them.
Sometimes grief can feel like a physical thing, almost like you can’t breathe. You may feel like you’re stuck in a dark place and can’t enjoy things that used to bring you comfort. Some days, you may just feel afraid of your new reality without your spouse by your side. These changes may be signs of:[2][1][4]
If your grief feels overwhelming, or you’re not sure how you will go on without your partner, please reach out for support. If severe depression or anxiety go unaddressed, they can create many risks, including thoughts about self-harm or suicide.[2][1][4]
If you’re having any thoughts like these, visit the closest emergency department immediately.
Different types of grief treatment can help you after the death of your spouse.[2][4][7]
Individual therapy can help you process your spouse’s death with a therapist. One of the biggest benefits of individual therapy is having space to be completely honest. Grief can make you feel like you need to protect others, especially if you have children who have lost a parent. Individual therapy gives you space to let down your guard without worrying about how it will impact someone else.
Support groups for grieving spouses allow you to connect with people who understand what you’re going through and can also help alleviate grief-induced isolation.[4][6] This form of treatment allows you to talk to others who are experiencing similar losses. Being around people who have walked this path before can help you feel less alone and provide practical advice.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based treatment that teaches how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect each other. Grief can significantly impact how you think about yourself, your ability to function, and the future. CBT can help you process your loss and develop new ways of responding to painful thoughts when they arise.
Complicated grief treatment (CGT) is an option if your grief is persistent, severe, or related to prolonged grief disorder. It is a structured therapy for people experiencing intense grief symptoms for extended periods.[4] CGT can help you cope with your partner’s death while regaining your ability to find peace and happiness in life again.
Family therapy may also be beneficial if your spouse’s death has impacted your children, adult children, in-laws, or family dynamics.[2][4][7] When family members are grieving at different paces or in different ways, misunderstandings can build up. Family therapy creates space to talk about what each person needs.
Grief counseling provides a safe space to talk about your spouse, your relationship, and what life is like now after their passing. Your therapist is here to listen and support you. They can provide a consistent presence as you work through the pain of loss in your own time and way.
Grief counseling can involve:[2][4][7]
Gradually, the counselor can also assist in helping reestablish normal routines, deal with difficult reminders, and learn how to honor your loved one in your life.[2][4][7]
You don’t have to wait a certain amount of time to receive support after your spouse dies. Some people seek support immediately after loss, others wait weeks, months, or even years before realizing they want or need help. Consider speaking with a grief therapist if grief:[2][4]
AMFM is here to help you or your loved one take the next steps towards an improved mental well-being.
If you are in near-constant distress or feel unable to care for yourself, higher levels of care may be recommended. Residential treatment programs can help with grief that feels overwhelming, unsafe, or is related to other mental health issues.[2][4][5]
Residential treatment programs offer:[2][4]
Coping with the death of your spouse means learning to live with the pain long enough to care for yourself without your partner being physically present. These coping skills can help you navigate life after losing your spouse:[2][6]
Some days, coping will look like getting out of bed, responding to one text message, and eating one meal. That’s enough. Don’t force it. Recovering from grief means finding ways to carry your love for your spouse while simultaneously caring for yourself.[2]
A Mission For Michael (AMFM) provides treatment for adults experiencing various conditions. Grief support is a phone call away – call 866-478-4383 to learn about our current treatment options.
See our residences in Southern California’s Orange County & San Diego County.
Take a look at our homes on the east side of the Metro area in Washington County.
View our facilities in Fairfax County, VA within the DC metro area.
You may never truly move on from losing your spouse. But recovery doesn’t mean your grief goes away or you stop missing them.
You will still have bad days, but with the right support, you can start to have more good days than bad. You can start to smile again, feel confident making decisions, and find moments of peace.[2]
At AMFM (A Mission For Michael) Mental Health Treatment, we understand that losing your spouse is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. We offer grief counseling, grief therapy, and residential mental health treatment for those who need extra support.
Our team of expert clinicians will personalize your treatment plan and work with you to achieve meaningful, lasting change. We specialize in complex grief, depression, trauma, and co-occurring mental health conditions.
AMFM Mental Health Treatment provides the full spectrum of care, including residential and outpatient treatment programs.
Our locations in California, Minnesota, and Virginia accept insurance and are in-network with most major providers. To check your insurance coverage for mental health care, simply complete our confidential online verification form or call a caring member of our team at 866-478-4383.
Reach out to us today if you would like to start the admissions process or learn more about how we can help you heal in the grieving process.
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