One of the first things you learn in grief counseling is that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. When someone you love dies, you may feel sad, angry, guilty, shocked, or completely disconnected. Some days will feel almost normal. Other days will feel like your loss happened yesterday, all over again. You might cycle through several emotions in a single hour, or feel nothing at all for days.
That back-and-forth is normal. Grief isn’t something people just “get over.” It’s something they learn to carry with them. Many people will still miss their loved one deeply, but the grief slowly starts allowing more room for life again, for work, connection with friends and family, rest, and renewed happiness.[1][2]
But there are times when grief doesn’t soften with the passage of time. If you’re struggling to work, take care of yourself, or imagine any sort of future without the person you’ve lost, grief counseling can help.
This article will explore:
Grief counseling is a form of therapy that can help people process a loss. It can be useful after someone dies, but it is also used for:[2][3]
Grief counseling isn’t intended to take your grief away or make you forget about the person you lost. That’s not how love or grief works. Instead, it helps you:[1][2]
A therapist can help you talk through the parts of grief you may feel are too difficult, private, or painful to say out loud. This might include:
Many people have thoughts they’ve never said to anyone, that they worry are selfish or wrong. A therapist won’t judge you for them.
Grief counseling can also provide support if you find yourself dealing with:
If grief symptoms remain severe and impact your everyday life for a long period of time, you may need treatment for prolonged grief disorder or depression.[1][4][5]
One reason people struggle with grief is that they wait too long for help. This is often because they convince themselves they don’t need or deserve it. Common thoughts include:
By the time they do reach out, they can’t sleep, or they sleep all day. Their job is at risk. And in the most serious cases, they may even be thinking about hurting themselves because the pain has become too great.
But grief doesn’t need to get this bad before you seek help.
If grief is impacting your relationships, physical health, daily routine, safety, or ability to feel hopeful for the future, that’s reason enough to reach out.[1][2] You don’t have to prove that your grief is “bad enough.” If it’s affecting your life, it’s enough.
If you’re still not sure, here are some signs that grief counseling or other forms of treatment could help.
Loss can impact your entire life. Things that used to be simple may feel strange or exhausting. Cooking dinner. Going to work. Paying the bills. Replying to a text from someone checking how you are. These day-to-day tasks can feel impossible to handle.
While grief is intense during the first few weeks or months after loss, everyone expects this to some degree. Your mind and body have just experienced a painful, life-changing event. But if you find that grief makes even your basic daily responsibilities difficult to manage, that could be a sign that you would benefit from extra support.[1][2]
Remember that just because you need help doesn’t mean you should be “over it” by now. Everyone moves at their own pace after a loss. Asking for help simply means that your grief is preventing you from living your life. And you deserve support while you work through it.
In many cases, you may just need time to wrap your head around the fact that your loved one is no longer with you. You may pick up the phone to call them by mistake, or expect them to walk through the door at any moment. You may know they’re gone, but you haven’t consciously grasped that knowing.
Feeling disbelief or denial about your loss is normal, especially early on. However, if you constantly feel trapped in the feeling that their death was not real, grief counseling can help.[1][4]
Sometimes people shut down because accepting the reality of a loved one’s death feels like betraying them. A therapist can help you work through difficult feelings like this without you feeling forced to accept anything before you’re ready. This allows you to process your grief at your own pace.
Avoidance can look different in different people. You may avoid going into their room, donate their clothes, spend less time with their friends, or avoid their favorite restaurants because eating there feels like a reminder.
Other people avoid their photos, belongings, funeral information, or talking about the person altogether. Facing these things can feel like confirmation that they’re really gone.
It’s okay to take a break from anything that causes you distress. When you first lose someone, grief can be overwhelming, so it’s understandable that you want to give yourself some time and space. But if your only coping mechanism is to push away everyone and everything connected to them, it can prevent or delay healing.[1][4]
You don’t have to tackle every painful memory or situation at once. Psychotherapy can give you a supportive space to face those reminders one by one. Your therapist can help you work through them at your own pace until your memories bring more comfort than pain.
Grief doesn’t always look like crying. Sometimes it looks like:
You may no longer find joy in hobbies you used to love. You may feel like you’re drifting further and further away from friends and family. You may go through the motions of your day without feeling “present” at all.
Numbness can be the mind’s way of protecting you when the pain is too much to process all at once.[1][2] While this is common early on, you should consider grief therapy or counseling if you feel nothing at all for weeks or months after your loss. An experienced therapist can help you reconnect with your emotions and yourself.
Grief can look a lot like depression. Loss can disrupt your:[2]
But there are some differences (though everyone is different). Grief tends to feel like waves of emotion that ebb and flow in intensity. Depression can make you feel empty or hopeless most of the time. It can seep into other areas of your life, making everything feel heavy.[1][4]
When grief and depression overlap, it can complicate symptoms and recovery. The earlier you begin mental health treatment for grief, the sooner your team can make a plan. Seek professional support if you:
Grief and depression can sometimes happen at the same time. A therapist can help you figure out what you’re experiencing and what kind of treatment can help you the most.[1][4][5]
Sometimes people will talk about extreme grief as “complicated grief.” In the medical community, we label grief that does not improve over time as prolonged grief disorder (PGD).[1][5]
Symptoms of prolonged grief include many of the signs already described, which persist without notable improvement. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), prolonged grief lasts 12+ months in adults or 6+ months in children after someone dies. Additionally, grief must cause problems functioning in daily life or cause significant distress for someone to be diagnosed with PGD.[1][5]
Everyone experiences grief differently and deals with loss at their own pace. However, if your grief continues to overwhelm you and prevent you from functioning, there is help available.[6][7][8]
AMFM is here to help you or your loved one take the next steps towards an improved mental well-being.
Grief support should be tailored to you and your needs. Therapy options for grief and loss include:
Treatment plans for prolonged grief are specialized to help when grief remains severe and persistent.
Studies show that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for grief can help improve persistent symptoms of grief and help individuals begin living their lives again.[6][7] CBT for grief focuses on identifying thought patterns that keep you feeling stuck, such as believing you can never be happy again or that moving forward means forgetting your loved one. CBT helps you examine these thoughts and find ways to honor them while still living your life.
Medications may also be prescribed for the symptoms of grief. If you’re also experiencing depression, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after your loss, medication can help. Your medication will not take away your grief, but it can make day-to-day life more manageable until you learn how to cope with your loss.
Grief can often be treated with traditional outpatient therapy or by attending support groups. However, if you feel like your grief is unsafe for you to manage at home, higher levels of care are available.
In some cases, grief can overlap with major depression, suicidal ideation, trauma, substance use, or feelings of neglecting your basic needs. If you are experiencing any of these, residential treatment for grief may be the right avenue.
In residential treatment, you’ll work with a team of therapists and doctors who will provide daily support. You can receive treatment and assistance for all co-occurring mental health conditions in an environment away from your normal stressors and responsibilities.
A Mission For Michael (AMFM) provides treatment for adults experiencing various conditions. Grief support is a phone call away – call 866-478-4383 to learn about our current treatment options.
See our residences in Southern California’s Orange County & San Diego County.
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Grief can be scary and painful, but seeking help doesn’t make you any less strong than you were before you experienced this loss.
At AMFM (A Mission For Michael) Mental Health Treatment, we understand how grief, depression, trauma, anxiety, and substance use are often connected. We have vast experience in helping people through the grieving process and gradually finding peace again in their lives.
You don’t have to walk this path alone. Our expert clinicians and the rest of our team are here to help you work through what you’re going through. We believe in treatment persistence, and our approach includes a personalized treatment plan to support you in achieving lasting, life-changing outcomes.
Our locations provide an intimate, focused mental health treatment experience for adults in home-like settings that are carefully maintained to be peaceful, comfortable spaces. Our program offerings include the full spectrum of care, including residential and outpatient treatment programs.
We accept insurance and are in-network with most major providers. To check your insurance coverage for mental health care, simply complete our confidential online verification form or call us at 866-478-4383.
Reach out to us if you would like to start the admissions process or learn more about how we can support your mental well-being. Our compassionate team is available 24/7 to answer your questions and provide guidance with no obligation.
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