Divorce, without a doubt, can be one of the most stressful life events someone goes through – no matter who initiated it or how amicable the split was. Divorce-related mental health struggles are common and expected, and can persist even after the legal wrangling is through.
Depression after divorce, divorce anxiety, grief, and more can all surface at once, sometimes months after the paperwork is finalized. A major life transition like this can take a lot out of you, so it’s important to normalize the difficulties and seek help when needed.
To help you understand how and why divorce can impact mental health, this page covers:
Getting divorced combines several stressors into a single, extended life event. You might be:
Unfortunately, around 10 to 15% of people carry elevated health risks potentially associated with divorce, which can include a 23% higher mortality rate on average.[1] In the following sections, we explore the various ways divorce can impact mental health.
Losing a spouse or partner to death typically allows for rituals to help with the grieving process: a funeral, a well-accepted mourning period, and community support.
Unfortunately, divorce rarely includes any of these rituals. The person is still alive, and often still present in shared custody or via financial ties. Plus, there is often also no clear support or guideposts for what your grief should look like (or when it should feel better).
Marriage quickly becomes part of how we define ourselves, including our daily routines and social circles. When it ends, a new identity often has to be built. Figuring out who you are outside of a familiar role – one that you may have held for years or even decades – can take time, effort, and can be challenging.
Divorce typically means shifting from a two-income household to a one-income household, often in addition to legal costs, changes in housing arrangements, and new responsibilities.
These pressures can make the emotional challenges feel even harder, and they can also take a while to get used to.
The psychological weight of divorce can take its toll on the body as well. Sleep disruption and ongoing stress responses are common in the period following a separation.
This can impact your mood, focus, outlook, and capacity to cope with life’s regular demands, none of which are usually paused or eased when going through a divorce.
Going through a divorce doesn’t cause a mental health condition for everyone, but it can trigger or worsen a disorder for many.
Some mental health conditions that are commonly seen include:
Again, not everyone who divorces will go on to develop a diagnosable condition or struggle more than is expected. Having said that, divorce is a major life transition that can bring about extremely complex emotional states, so it’s worth paying attention if you find yourself fighting to bounce back for months afterward.
Adjustment disorder is a diagnosis that describes a response to a life disruption or change. This response feels functionally out of proportion to what the event would typically cause and/or disrupts daily functioning.[2]
As such, divorce can fit squarely into the kind of stressor that can cause this disorder. In fact, adjustment disorder is also one of the most commonly diagnosed conditions for treatment across inpatient and outpatient settings.[2]
To meet the clinical criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the symptoms of an adjustment disorder need to develop within three months of the stressor. They include a noticeable disruption to daily routines, other relationships, or work, along with:
Some people might think of adjustment disorder as somehow “lesser” or “more minor” than things like major depressive disorder. However, people with adjustment disorder after something like a divorce can experience many challenges that may benefit from engagement in treatment.
Divorce grief isn’t a well-known concept compared to grief after losing someone. Therefore, the losses involved in ending a marriage often go unacknowledged, even sometimes by the person who’s going through it.
Divorce-based grief qualifies for what researchers call “disenfranchised grief.” This is a type of loss that isn’t openly acknowledged, mourned in a public fashion, or socially supported in the same way other losses would be.[3]
For instance, friends might expect someone to simply feel relieved after a divorce, particularly if they were the one who chose the divorce. This mismatch can isolate you in your grief, feeling unsure if the pain you’re feeling is even allowable or acceptable and cause you to try and hide it away.
Understanding how grief can actually move through stages – and how it can jump back and forth on its own unique timeline – can help make sense of why the healing from a divorce sometimes feels confusing and non-linear.
In addition to grief, for some, the body’s stress response can mirror what’s often seen in trauma and PTSD. Intrusive thoughts about the relationship, difficulty trusting a new partner, a heightened startle response, and purposeful isolation are not uncommon in divorces that involve extreme difficulties or abuse.[4] This is because the nervous system can respond to relational loss with much the same intensity it would bring to any other major threat.
AMFM is here to help you or your loved one take the next steps towards an improved mental well-being.
Effective treatment for emotional recovery and healing after divorce likely depends a lot on what’s driving your distress. For instance, conditions like depression, anxiety, adjustment disorder, and trauma don’t all respond to the same approach.
In instances of depression after divorce, approaches like trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) have been shown to result in measurable improvements in depressive symptoms for people navigating separation.[5]
CBT can target negative thought patterns behind low mood and develop new coping strategies and routines. This approach can be helpful for divorce anxiety, as someone is encouraged to focus on managing the uncertainty of the future and ruminating thoughts.
Psychiatric care and medication management can also be helpful for people whose depression, anxiety, or trauma have become severe enough to disrupt their:
For people whose symptoms might need more attention, residential treatment can allow them the structure and time away from everyday life to immerse in treatment. Step-down options like intensive outpatient programs can also help to ease the eventual transition from there back to daily life.
A mental health professional can advise you on the best approach for your unique circumstances and needs.
Divorce might close one chapter, but it doesn’t automatically start a new one. If depression, anxiety, or grief have settled in and stayed around longer than you’ve expected, it may be a sign that you might benefit from the same type of support you’d give to any other major loss in your life.
At AMFM (A Mission For Michael) Mental Health Treatment, we provide high-quality, evidence-based care for every stage of life, using approaches that are built around your unique needs. Our team of expert clinicians believes in treatment persistence and will personalize your treatment plan so you can achieve lasting, life-changing outcomes.
We offer an intimate, focused mental health treatment experience for adults in home-like settings that are carefully maintained to be peaceful, comfortable spaces. In addition to residential treatment, AMFM Mental Health Treatment also offers multiple levels of outpatient treatment.
Our locations in California, Minnesota, Virginia, and Washington accept insurance and are in-network with most major providers. To check your insurance coverage for mental health care, simply complete our confidential online verification form or call us at 866-478-4383.
Reach out to us if you would like to start the admissions process or learn more about how we can support your mental well-being. Our compassionate team is available 24/7 to answer your questions and provide guidance with no obligation.
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It’s normal to have ongoing concerns about how divorce can impact your mental health and well-being in the long run. To help, we’ve provided the following answers to questions we commonly receive.
It can be. Emotional recovery doesn’t follow a pre-set timeline, but if your symptoms of depression feel like they’re getting worse, reach out to AMFM Mental Health Treatment today to see how we can help you best move forward.
Yes, betrayal, deception, and ongoing conflict can produce trauma symptoms similar to PTSD as well, including intrusive thoughts and hypervigilance.
Adjustment disorder involves feeling and experiencing distress that’s out of proportion to the cause, or symptoms that get in the way of your day-to-day functioning. It typically develops within three months of the divorce.
You can, but this is not always wise. Starting treatment during the separation process can actually help you build coping skills and can make the transition easier once the divorce and legal process are complete.
At AMFM, we strive to provide the most up-to-date and accurate medical information based on current best practices, evolving information, and our team’s approach to care. Our aim is that our readers can make informed decisions about their healthcare.
Our reviewers are credentialed medical providers specializing and practicing behavioral healthcare. We follow strict guidelines when fact-checking information and only use credible sources when citing statistics and medical information. Look for the medically reviewed badge on our articles for the most up-to-date and accurate information.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate or out of date, please let us know at info@amfmhealthcare.com
