If you’ve received a diagnosis later in life, it can bring a lot of clarity to who you really are. In some cases, it can help to explain aspects of your life that you’ve been living with for years, but never fully understood. A diagnosis can give you a framework for understanding and then act as a springboard for receiving targeted support.
But there’s a point where that label can start to feel like it defines you, and when that happens, it stops being helpful and can start to work against you. Research has shown that people who strongly identify with their diagnosis can experience poorer well-being over time.1
If you find yourself starting to think this way, there are ways to change your thinking process. Here are six practical ways to hold your diagnosis as one part of who you are without letting it become the whole picture.
Founded in 2010, A Mission For Michael (AMFM) offers specialized mental health care across California, Minnesota, and Virginia. Our accredited facilities provide residential and outpatient programs, utilizing evidence-based therapies such as CBT, DBT, and EMDR.
Our dedicated team of licensed professionals ensures every client receives the best care possible, supported by accreditation from The Joint Commission. We are committed to safety and personalized treatment plans.
1. Pay Attention to the Language You Use About Yourself
Separating self from mental illness can start with something as simple as being mindful of the words you use. For example, if you have anxiety, there’s a real difference between saying “I’m anxious” and “I felt anxious in that situation”.
The first one suggests something permanent. The other leaves room for it to pass.2
The emotional impact of labeling yourself a certain way can build up in the background without you even noticing. Research has shown that the language used to describe a person with a medical condition of any kind can change how they are perceived. That even applies to how trained medical professionals perceive them.
One study found that when clinicians read about a “substance abuser” versus a “person with a substance use disorder”, they were much more likely to have a negative perception of the former than the latter. This was evident even when the clinical details of the person were identical.3
It’s up to you to decide which language feels right for you. What matters is that the words you use about yourself make you feel more like yourself.
2. Build Your Identity Around What You Actually Value
The relationship between identity and mental health is a complex one, and when a diagnosis moves to the center of how you see yourself, it can start to push everything else to the edges. If this continues, your interests and even your relationships can start to feel secondary to the diagnosis.
Research on values-based living found that people who actively live in line with what matters to them, like family or work, report better mental well-being.4
Temple Grandin, who is well known for speaking about her experience with autism, put this well when she said she doesn’t define herself as autistic first. She describes herself as a college professor who happens to be autistic.5
Temple acknowledges that autism is part of what makes her thinking unique, but it’s her values that lead. In her mind, the diagnosis is context and not a headline.
If you’re not sure where to start, think about what you’d want your life to look like if the diagnosis weren’t part of the conversation. When you lead with your values, the connection between mental wellness and identity starts to feel less like a conflict.
3. Learn the Difference Between Your Personality and Your Symptoms
Your self-concept and diagnosis can become tangled, especially when a diagnosis arrives later in life. It can lead you to start questioning things that you never would have before.
“Is that my personality, or is it a symptom?” “Am I genuinely like this, or have I been compensating for something I didn’t know I had?”
One ADHD specialist explained that many traits people attribute to their personality may actually be coping mechanisms for symptoms they didn’t know they were managing.6
As an example, someone who appears hyper-organized might be compensating for inattention that they want to hide. Someone who seems withdrawn might have pulled back after too many difficult social experiences.
Writer Jordan Campbell posted a personal account online describing how, after discovering ADHD content online, she experienced an identity crisis. She wondered whether she was “a diluted version of a stereotype” before eventually arriving at the conclusion she was “a real, whole person who happens to be neurodivergent.”7
What you can learn from this is that your symptoms are real, but your personality is also real. They can overlap and interact, but they’re not the same thing.
4. Keep Doing Things That Have Nothing to Do With Your Diagnosis
If you’ve been diagnosed with a condition later in life, it’s only natural to want to deep-dive into the subject. You might turn to books or media, join dedicated subreddits, or follow the most popular creators on that specific condition. While there is nothing wrong with this, if every interest you have eventually routes back to your condition, you can start to lose parts of your identity outside of it.
Research on how people integrate a diagnosis into their sense of self has identified a state called ‘engulfment’, where the condition becomes your entire identity. This is linked with issues like social withdrawal and even the worsening of symptoms.
The opposite of engulfment is something known as ‘enrichment’, where you find meaning through the experience but still maintain a life that extends well beyond it.8
Personal growth with mental health challenges often comes from maintaining that balance. Author John Green, who lives with severe OCD, treats his condition like any other health issue. It needs management, but it doesn’t define his worth.
As Green himself puts it, “I have a serious mental illness. I’ve had it most of my life. It’s often been debilitating, and yet also I have a wonderful life.”9 He writes novels, makes online videos, and runs a podcast. While his OCD is acknowledged, it’s not the first or last thing you know about him. This is an example of enrichment in practice.
5. Challenge the Stigma You’ve Internalized
The relationship between stigma and mental health is well documented, but the stigma that often does the most damage is the kind you direct at yourself.
Internalized stigma is the process of absorbing society’s negative beliefs about mental illness and applying them to yourself. In a lot of cases, people who do this don’t even realize they’re doing it.10
Research has identified something called the “why try” effect, where people stop pursuing goals because they’ve decided that people with their condition “don’t get to have those things.”10
The cost of this is measurable, and studies show that there is a strong link between internalized stigma and problems like reduced self-esteem and increased depressive symptoms.11 Sadly, despite a growing public awareness of mental health, analysis found that self-stigma levels actually increased between 2005 and 2023.11
The key here is recognizing when you’re turning stigma inward and understanding it so you can identify the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Approaches like CBT for overcoming self-stigma can help you recognize those beliefs for what they are and start to take control over them.
6. Treat Your Diagnosis as a Starting Point, Not a Destination
Overcoming mental health labels certainly doesn’t mean that you have to pretend your diagnosis doesn’t exist.
Research on how young people integrate psychiatric diagnoses found that when the diagnosis became the dominant identity, outcomes got worse for them. When it became one part of the fuller picture, it was actually empowering.12
Another study showed that changing from an illness-centered identity to a recovery-centered one accounted for a huge change in positive behaviors and well-being in the months following therapy.1
If you’ve been wondering how to define yourself beyond a diagnosis, the answer may start with recognizing that the diagnosis was only ever one piece of information about you. You are the parts that overlap with the diagnosis, and you are the vast territory that doesn’t.
How AMFM Can Help
If living with a diagnosis has started to change the way you see yourself, it may be worth exploring that with someone who understands it.
A Mission For Michael provides counseling for self-concept and mental health, with therapeutic approaches that go far beyond symptom management. Our approach includes therapy for identity and diagnosis separation, which helps you reconnect with who you are beyond a self-imposed label.
We offer support for those managing neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, as well as mood disorders like depression and anxiety disorders.
But sometimes the hardest part is knowing whether what you’re experiencing warrants professional support. If it’s crossed your mind, that’s reason enough to have the conversation.
Contact AMFM today, and a member of our team will be happy to discuss all the options available to you.
References
- Cruwys, T., & Gunaseelan, S. (2016). “Depression is who I am”: Mental illness identity, stigma and wellbeing. Journal of Affective Disorders, 189, 36–42. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2015.09.012
- Jefferys, T. (2026). When a diagnosis becomes your identity. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-long-way-in/202602/when-a-diagnosis-becomes-your-identity
- Ashford, R. D., Brown, A. M., & Curtis, B. (2018). “Abusing addiction”: Our language still isn’t good enough. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 37(2), 257–272. https://doi.org/10.1080/07347324.2018.1513777
- Keng, S. L., Smoski, M. J., & Robins, C. J. (2011). Effects of mindfulness on psychological health: A review of empirical studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(6), 1041–1056. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2011.04.006
- AZ Quotes. (n.d.). Top 25 quotes by Temple Grandin (of 218). https://www.azquotes.com/author/5797-Temple_Grandin
- CHADD. (2018). Do ADHD symptoms affect your personality? https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/do-adhd-symptoms-affect-your-personality/
- Campbell, J. (2026, March 18). “I thought my AuDHD made me unique. Then I went on TikTok.” ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-tiktok-audhd-traits/
- CooperRiis Healing Community. (2023, August 23). You are not your diagnosis. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-healing-community/202308/you-are-not-your-diagnosis
- Ferrigine, G. (2024, May 11). “Life is warm, even when it’s hard”: Author John Green on challenging the OCD narrative. Salon. https://www.salon.com/2024/05/11/john-green-turtles-all-the-way-down/
- Corrigan, P. W., Larson, J. E., & Rusch, N. (2009). Self-stigma and the “why try” effect: Impact on life goals and evidence-based practices. World Psychiatry, 8(2), 75–81. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2051-5545.2009.tb00218.x
- Lu, X., Chen, H., Bai, D., Chen, X., Ji, W., Gao, H., Yuan, Y., Hou, C., & Gao, J. (2025). Worldwide changes in self-stigma among people with mental illness from 2005 to 2023: A cross-temporal meta-analysis and systematic review. International Psychogeriatrics, 100106. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.inpsyc.2025.100106
- O’Connor, C., Kadianaki, I., Maunder, K., & McNicholas, F. (2018). How does psychiatric diagnosis affect young people’s self-concept and social identity? A systematic review and synthesis of the qualitative literature. Social Science & Medicine, 212, 94–119.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2018.07.011
