Have you ever gotten in your own way? Or been your own worst nightmare with the best intentions? Self-sabotaging could be something as simple as procrastination, or could involve acts like criticizing yourself, people pleasing, engaging in risky behaviors, and so on.
If you find yourself self-sabotaging, you may be left asking, Why? Why do I keep doing this to myself? But the narrative is a lot more complicated than this. Sometimes, self-sabotage may sit above an underlying mental health difficulty, such as depression.
Depression and self-sabotaging behaviors often go hand in hand. It’s not uncommon for those with depression to unwillingly and often unconsciously engage in forms of self-sabotage. When self-sabotage and depression combine, it can have many negative implications on a person’s life – affecting their relationships, work life, and how they feel about themselves.
Fortunately, there are support strategies and treatment approaches available to manage both depression and self-sabotaging behaviors. So, no one has to face these alone. In this article, we will explore the relationship between self-sabotage and depression, and the inpatient treatment options available to you should you need them.
Depression is a lonely, exhausting mental health condition that can affect anyone at any time in their lives. And sometimes, to make matters worse, depression doesn’t come alone. Depression often carries with it additional baggage, such as co-occurring mental health issues and self-sabotaging behaviors.
In some severe cases, like self-mutilation, the damage the behaviors have is more obvious and permanent. However, what can be more insidious about self-sabotage is when it hides in plain sight as a “comfort” or “reward,” and you may not even realize you’re doing it.2
There are several ways that someone might self-sabotage, including, but not limited to:3
Procrastination
The Self-Sabotage Cycle
As noted earlier, self-sabotage is not a diagnosable disorder on its own. However, it is usually ongoing and difficult to break. It has a cyclical nature that feels familiar and often provides a sense of control over the situation. Though you may not notice the patterns until behaviors are negatively affecting your adult life, they often begin in childhood.
When we are young, we have little understanding of the complex things around us (as our brains aren’t fully developed yet). However, to counteract this lack of life experience, our brains make connections and provide us with a predictable script of sorts. This is the brain’s way of keeping us safe. To the brain, predictability equals safety.4
Unfortunately, that is not always true, particularly if the adults or other influences in your young life have their own bad behavior cycles. For instance, if you witnessed your parent in an abusive relationship, you may grow up and find yourself in similar relationships. Or if your parent was emotionally unavailable, you may struggle to be vulnerable with your own children.
In these cases, the children of these adults may vow never to repeat what they saw at home growing up. But when they become adults, the pattern may compulsively reemerge in their lives.5
It’s important to note that this cycle often happens outside of our conscious awareness, which makes it harder to spot and change. To start to recognize and replace these behaviors, we have to first process and understand the experiences that led to them. More on this soon.
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Depression is not listed directly as a cause below, but depression and self-sabotage often co-occur. One may not be the ultimate root for the other, but both tend to perpetuate each other’s cycle further. Four common root causes of self-sabotage are:
Childhood trauma
What’s more, our core beliefs shape our world in unimaginable ways. If the beliefs about ourselves are negative and unchecked, they can have devastating results throughout each stage of our lives.
Self-Sabotage Behaviors and Signs
One of the ways to know if your behavior is self-sabotaging is to notice the impact on your life, work, or relationships. The physical behaviors and their effects may be what you notice, but deep underneath is a thought pattern that is running the show. The following are typical thought patterns that someone who is self-sabotaging might experience:2
Fear of failure
If you are experiencing self-sabotaging behaviors that are having harmful consequences on your life, relationships, or work, we recommend consulting with a professional.2 There are a variety of levels of inpatient treatment plans for self-sabotage and depression, which we’ll delve into next.
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However, it’s important to be aware that finding the right inpatient care for depression with self-sabotage isn’t always easy. Deciding to stay at a residential self-sabotage treatment program can be an overwhelming commitment, but one that can save your life.
The best inpatient programs for self-sabotaging behaviors include therapies that can help with complex and multifaceted problems.7 Since these behaviors often disguise themselves as rational or even helpful despite the results, having professionals around daily can yield massive results and change your life.
Within inpatient programs, therapies can help you move through your struggle. Although, as mentioned earlier, you can do some therapeutic techniques on your own, a professional can safely guide you through more difficult feelings and help you navigate those that aren’t always straightforward to understand.
The main form of treatment for depression and self-sabotage is:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapy approach focuses on changing a person’s negative thought patterns and behaviors, making it an ideal form of therapy for both depression and self-sabotaging behaviors.
Yes, health insurance companies often cover treatment for depression as it is one of the most common mental health problems, and it can have devastating effects. Both inpatient and outpatient treatment options can be covered. Discuss your plan with your physicians and therapists to verify with your insurance company and ensure you have a smooth recovery.
A Mission For Michael (AMFM) provides treatment for adults experiencing various conditions. Depression support is a phone call away – call 866-478-4383 to learn about our current treatment options.
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At AMFM, we are devoted to helping you achieve your goals and break the cycle of self-sabotage and depression affecting your life. We offer evidence-based therapies like CBT, DBT, and group therapies that can help you not feel so alone. These can be accessed no matter the length of your residential stay, whether that be short-term (less than 30 days) or long-term (30+ days).
Additionally, we offer a host of holistic therapy opportunities at our inpatient programs. Community favorites such as equine (horse) therapy, music therapy, and gardening group therapy are offered at several of our facilities. For those wanting to get off-grounds, we have aquarium and museum visits as well as beach visits and mini-golfing.
To find out more about our treatment approaches and programs, get in touch.
