How to Deal with Depression in Marriage

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, it is highly likely that it may have an impact on your marital relationships. Depression can affect one’s sex life, relationship problems, or health problems. Depression affects family members within a household, and arguments may come up as a result of an individual’s lack of energy, lack of interest, or lack of motivation.

 

Living with a depressed partner can be challenging; it’s important to understand that depression is a mental illness that often feels negative and heavy for both the individual struggling and the partner. Marital satisfaction and marital status impact an individual’s well-being, and relationship issues with a depressed partner may feel insurmountable without help. Marriage counseling, as well as other forms of therapeutic care, support groups and resources can help you or your loved one learn how to navigate walking through and overcoming depression while in your relationship. By consulting a mental health professional, you can learn how to understand the signs of depression, how to help a depressed partner, and how to move forward with your own wellness at the forefront of your life. Call today to learn how AMFM Mental Health Treatment can help you navigate depression in marriage.

depression in marriage

Depression and Gender in Marriage

There are a variety of studies surrounding the differences and nuances of how depression affects different genders within a relationship or marriage. One study found that by understanding the gendered aspects of depression and the interpersonal processes around depression, they could offer new insight into gendered relationship dynamics within marriage, and the importance of these gendered dynamics for altering or contributing to depressive symptoms of husbands and wives.1

For example, one study found that relationships of couples with a depressed wife tend to be characterized by hostility, isolation, and negative emotions, whereas marital relationships in which the husband is depressed are more likely to be characterized by emotional work performed by the wife to the benefit of the husband.2 This is helpful to know, as it may impact the way depression is treated, its ripple effects, and communication styles. Additionally, support groups may be gendered in order to be more personalized and effective for people struggling.

Another study about depressed men and women in arguments found that among depressed men, more severe baseline depressive symptoms predicted more family arguments 10 years later; among depressed women, more severe baseline depressive symptoms predicted fewer family arguments 1 year later, while more severe depressive symptoms at 10-year follow-up predicted more family arguments at 23-year follow-up.3 More family arguments predicted more severe depressive symptoms among women and men, with some variation in the time intervals of these associations.4

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Understanding Depression

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) or Clinical Depression is a mood disorder that is known for causing feelings of sadness, a loss of interest in pleasurable activities, and a range of other emotional and physical symptoms. Symptoms of depression can affect your daily routine, relationships, and overall quality of life. Mental health treatment, through a combination of psychiatry and therapeutic care, can help you to manage these symptoms over time, increasing the quality of life.

Major Depression can affect individuals of varying ages and other demographics. Causes of depression can vary, including genetics, self-esteem, experiences you’ve had in life, and a chemical imbalance within your brain. Depression therapy can help you in overcoming depression and may include the use of depression medications and holistic therapies.

Common Symptoms of Depression

According to the DSM-5, there are nine criteria to diagnose depression, and an individual must express at least five of the following:

  1. Sleep disturbance
  2. Interest/pleasure reduction
  3. Guilt feelings or thoughts of worthlessness
  4. Energy changes/fatigue
  5. Concentration/attention impairment
  6. Appetite/weight changes
  7. Psychomotor disturbances
  8. Suicidal thoughts
  9. Depressed mood

Different Types of Depressive Disorders

Depression can present differently among those experiencing depressive symptoms. There are several types of depressive disorders, each of which have their own features and recommended treatments. While this is not an exhaustive list of the types of depression, it does highlight some of the most common:

  • Bipolar Disorder (Bipolar Depression)
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
  • Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)
  • Postpartum Depression
  • Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)
  • Psychotic Depression

Psychiatric Treatment for Depression

There are a variety of different antidepressant medications that have been proven as effective treatment (in combination with psychological treatment) for depression. Some types of antidepressants are listed here, but inquire with a licensed medical professional or psychiatrist for detailed information on different treatments. Never take psychiatric medication unless it is prescribed to you, and be sure to consult with healthcare professionals in case of external risk factors. 

 

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) and Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs) are antidepressant medications that treat different neurotransmitters in order to block the reabsorption of serotonin or norepinephrine, keeping more of the chemicals in the synaptic cleft. However, both SSRIs and SNRIs have been known to impact fatigue and energy levels, and antidepressants may have fatigue listed as a side effect. Both are effective treatments for depression, but depend upon the individual, and should be approached with medical guidance and professional advice. Click here to learn more about the importance of medication management

Types of Therapy and Counseling for Depression

Depression can affect individuals differently, which often requires individualized treatment. There are a variety of depression treatment options that can be used to address the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral aspects of this condition. Some of the most common approaches used in treatment plans include:

Family or Couples Therapy

Couples and family therapy may be used when a loved one’s depressive symptoms are affecting others. This can increase family members’ understanding of depression and talk about how to support each other. Couples and family therapy sessions can improve communication patterns, focus on problem-solving, address unresolved conflicts, and increase the sense of understanding among one another.

Group Therapy

Group therapy sessions can be used to help provide structured times to help you understand that you are not alone in your struggles, that your peers are also walking through these challenges, while also providing guidance, suggestions and communications from psychologists with specialized backgrounds. These groups can span a variety of backgrounds, including but not limited to art therapy, somatic therapy, and narrative therapy.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy that’s focused on restructuring and reprogramming maladaptive and negative thought processes. Psychologists are trained to help you change your cognitive and emotional processes in order to outgrow coping mechanisms that may no longer be serving you.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is most commonly referred to as “talk therapy,” and is designed to help process emotions. Qualified professionals offer psychological therapy to move forward with healthy ways of engaging in interpersonal relationships and alleviating physical and emotional distress.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)

EMDR Therapy is a renowned method of reprocessing most often used in trauma therapy. By activating the prefrontal cortex through a series of bilateral stimulation, qualified professionals can lead you through traumatic experiences, helping you to alleviate the distress symptomized by trauma.

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Treating Anger and Depression

In addition to the usual signs of depression, angry outbursts are common in depressed patients. If a loved one or a depressed patient is experiencing feelings of anger, it may be more difficult to find compassion for these anger attacks. However, it’s important to remember that these emotions are likely rooted in low self-esteem, or suppressed anger from past experiences. While anger attacks and anger outbursts may seem less manageable than the usual symptoms of depression, they’re no less real or valid. In trying to find understanding, it can be helpful to neutralize a situation, to focus on deep breathing exercises and encourage self-compassion and self-care. Other anger management tools like identifying triggers, developing coping mechanisms, and taking time away, can help depressed patients who experience anger. Historically, pharmacological management helps in control of depressive and anxiety symptoms, but rarely addresses expressed anger symptoms.5 However, anger management therapy and CBT have been proven effective in the face of depressed patients who experience intense anger. If you or a loved one are struggling with anger and depression, give a call to our compassionate care team for professional help, resources and treatment plans today.

Additional Mental Health Conditions for Treatment

AMFM Mental Health Treatment has extensive experience treating a variety of mental illnesses beyond depression through evidence-based therapies, including but not limited to the following:

  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Eating Disorders
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • ADHD
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Mood Disorders
  • Psychosis 
  • Schizophrenia
  • Panic Attacks

Recovery can feel isolating; mental health programming can provide cohesive treatment plans to help you or your loved one as you move forward.

Thomeer MB, Umberson D, Pudrovska T. Marital Processes around Depression: A Gendered and Relational Perspective. Soc Ment Health. 2013 Nov 1;3(3):151-169. doi: 10.1177/2156869313487224. PMID: 25914855; PMCID: PMC4408555.

Wong JJ, Frost ND, Timko C, Heinz AJ, Cronkite R. Depression and family arguments: disentangling reciprocal effects for women and men. Fam Pract. 2020 Feb 19;37(1):49-55. doi: 10.1093/fampra/cmz048. PMID: 32076721; PMCID: PMC7456973.

Sahu A, Gupta P, Chatterjee B. Depression is More Than Just Sadness: A Case of Excessive Anger and Its Management in Depression. Indian J Psychol Med. 2014 Jan;36(1):77-9. doi: 10.4103/0253-7176.127259. PMID: 24701016; PMCID: PMC3959025