If you’ve ever felt confused or hurt by a loved one with bipolar disorder, know that you’re not alone. Bipolar disorder behaviors that may seem, at first glance, controlling or demanding are often actually linked to mood swings or emotional regulation problems.
While relationship challenges may feel overwhelming, understanding what drives these behaviors can help improve communication, reduce stress, and enable you both to feel supported and seen in your relationship.
While a mental health professional can offer personalized advice for bipolar disorder symptoms, this page can also help you better understand bipolar and manipulative behavior by exploring:
When people talk about “manipulative” behavior, they often mean people intentionally trying to influence or control other people for personal gain.1 For instance, someone may try to make you feel guilty so that you help them, or complain constantly in an attempt to get their own way.
Other manipulative behaviors may look like…
Some people use manipulation deliberately and intentionally to get what they want. However, manipulative behaviors can also be completely unintentional. Let’s explore this further in terms of bipolar disorder.
When it comes to bipolar and manipulative behavior, these actions rarely come from a place of malice. Bipolar disorder behavior may appear manipulative, but it often stems from symptoms such as emotional dysregulation or poorer executive function.
Mood swings and intense emotions can affect how a person thinks, feels, and interacts with others, which can make it very difficult to clearly express needs. This means that instead of being able to say something like “I need extra reassurance about our relationship right now”, a person may act “clingy” or seem overly demanding during a depressive episode. Or, someone may appear incredibly pushy during a hypomanic or mania episode because they genuinely believe what they are saying at that moment and want you to believe it too.
Additionally, poor memory in bipolar disorder may be mistaken for manipulative behaviors, such as lying or gaslighting, when in reality the person might have genuinely forgotten what was said.2
Furthermore, manipulative behaviors may have roots in trauma. Manipulation may develop as a maladaptive coping skill if someone learned, for example, that it wasn’t safe to openly ask for what they needed.3
So, while manipulation isn’t one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, a person’s behavior may be perceived in this way by others. However, there are mental health conditions where manipulation is a key feature, which is explored next.
Co-Occurring Disorders and Manipulative Behavior
Someone with bipolar disorder can have another mental health condition that features manipulation in their symptoms, specifically narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Personality disorders can be associated with manipulative behavior, and up to 31% of people with bipolar disorder also meet the criteria for one of these disorders. For instance, NPD is commonly seen with bipolar disorder. Plus, manic episodes can exacerbate symptoms, such as an unreasonably high sense of self-importance, taking advantage of people, or being critical of others.4,5
Remember that intention matters. Manipulation implies awareness and control, whereas these are usually absent when it comes to mood disorder behavior changes. Understanding that your loved one’s behavior often reflects their distress, fear, or difficulty managing impulses can change how you see their actions. Frustration and judgment can then make way for empathy and compassion.
Identifying these behaviors for what they are – signs of emotional distress – can help you pause, breathe, and see the bigger picture: how bipolar disorder can affect relationships overall.
Emotional ups and downs are a natural part of any romantic relationship. But if your partner has bipolar disorder, you may sometimes feel like you’re standing on moving sands: never quite able to find stable ground.
Bipolar disorder behavior can impact relationships in ways that go beyond mood swings. Bipolar symptoms in relationships often involve emotional highs and lows, sudden shifts in energy, or changes in communication, which may hinder both partners from feeling connected and understood. Below, we explore how bipolar symptoms can impact relationships.
Challenges may arise in romantic relationships from the unpredictable and impulsive behavior bipolar disorder adults exhibit during manic or depressive episodes. These can include:
These behaviors can lead to tension or misunderstandings, leaving loved ones unsure what to do or how to help. Therefore, over time, such actions may erode trust and result in emotional distancing.
For this reason, many people find coping with bipolar partner behavior challenging. For instance, partners may feel compelled to sacrifice their time or work to care for their loved one. The stress, uncertainty, financial pressures, or feelings of powerlessness may give way to frustration, anger, or despair. Given these factors, it’s perhaps unsurprising that divorce rates are up to three times more likely among people with bipolar disorder than those without it.6
No relationship is “perfect”, and navigating challenges can be difficult even in the strongest, healthiest couples. Understanding and empathy are essential building blocks for respectful, loving relationships. When both partners are aware of how bipolar disorder affects emotions, communication, and decision-making, it can be easier to respond with compassion and empathy rather than exasperation.
Maintaining a healthy relationship while living with bipolar disorder is absolutely possible. Effective treatment and the right support can make a real difference in strengthening and growing your partnership. The following section explores therapies and support options that can make things more manageable for both you and your loved one.
Effective treatment typically requires a multi-pronged approach, including:7-10
Medication: Depending on your individual needs, mood stabilizers or antipsychotics can be used to ease extreme mood swings and manage manic episodes. Alternatively, antidepressants may help treat depressive symptoms.
With effective treatment, bipolar disorder symptoms can be managed. However, recovery isn’t just about managing symptoms; it’s also about having practical strategies to help you feel more stable every day. The next section explores tips that may help life feel more balanced.
Relationships with someone who has bipolar disorder can bring moments of joy, connection, and understanding. Yet it can also be challenging when behaviors and moods become unpredictable. Practical coping strategies can help maintain a healthy, loving connection. We explore some of these strategies below.
Open communication, setting healthy boundaries, responding mindfully to intense moments, and prioritizing your own self-care can help you build a relationship that is both supportive and enduring.
Here are some of the most common myths surrounding bipolar disorder:
Truth: Manipulation is not a diagnostic criterion for bipolar disorder. Some behaviors during mood episodes may appear manipulative but often stem from the emotional dysregulation bipolar disorder causes. With therapy and support, these behaviors can be effectively managed.
Truth: Manic episodes involve a “high mood” state as well as excess energy and impulsivity. Manic episodes can put people in a euphoric state; however, they may also feel extremely irritated, agitated, or aggressive. So, mania doesn’t always mean a joyful experience, and it can be highly stressful for the person going through it.
Truth: Although everyone experiences temporary emotional ups and downs, mood episodes in bipolar disorder are much more extreme and intense, affecting energy, focus, and relationships. They can last for days or weeks, changing from mania to deep depression and all of the emotions in between. It’s a real medical condition that deserves understanding and treatment, not just someone being labelled as “moody”.
Truth: Many people live with bipolar disorder and also have strong, stable relationships. With the right treatment and support, as well as open communication, relationships can grow even stronger.
Truth: Medication plays a large role in bipolar disorder recovery, but it’s only one facet of effective treatment. Psychotherapy, education, self-care, and lifestyle adjustments all contribute to successful recovery and management of bipolar disorder to promote long-term stability.
Understanding the reality of living with bipolar disorder can help stop stigma in its path and allow people to view this condition with more compassion and empathy. Getting the right help and support is essential for living a more balanced life with bipolar disorder.
Living with bipolar disorder can feel confusing and intense. If you or someone you love is finding it difficult to manage bipolar disorder symptoms, know that effective treatment and support are available.
At AMFM Healthcare, we provide safe, structured treatment centers designed to help you manage your mood swings and focus on long-term healing from bipolar disorder. With personalized treatment plans, round-the-clock compassionate care, and evidence-based approaches, our residential programs in California, Washington, and Virginia are here to offer the support you need to recover.
Reach out to us today to find out how we can help you lead a more fulfilling, balanced life and relationship.
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