Key Takeaways
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder that affects between 0.5 to 5% of the global population.
- Narcissism develops from a complex interplay of factors including genetics, childhood experiences, and cultural influences that reward individualism and self-promotion.
- A person must display 5 or more narcissistic traits to be diagnosed with NPD, which distinguishes it from occasional narcissistic behaviors that many people might exhibit temporarily.
- Setting clear boundaries and learning to respond rather than react are essential strategies for coping with narcissists, along with demanding action instead of accepting empty promises.
- AMFM specializes in treating personality disorders including NPD through individualized treatment plans, intensive clinical programming, and a comprehensive approach that includes medication management and family therapy when clinically appropriate.
In this article, we’ll examine the 12 traits of a narcissist and provide some tips for dealing with them.
Read on to discover how to recognize narcissistic behavior and arm yourself with effective coping mechanisms…
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissism is a relentless focus on self-importance or appearance, often at the expense of others’ needs.
The word ‘narcissism’ comes from the Greek myth regarding Narcissus, a god’s son who died of starvation due to his obsessive self-admiration. 2
This type of excessive self-admiration can evolve into a more severe form, known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
How To Identify A Narcissist?
Identifying a narcissist can be challenging, as their behavior often appears charming or charismatic at first. However, certain traits and patterns can help you recognize narcissistic behavior over time.
Common Behavioral Traits
To identify a narcissist, you can observe a person for traits such as an inflated sense of self-worth, a blatant lack of empathy or boundaries, and a constant need for attention.
For example, a narcissist might frequently interrupt conversations to talk about their achievements while dismissing others’ contributions or feelings.
Observing Emotional Responses
Narcissists often react with anger or defensiveness when criticized. They may lack genuine empathy, making it difficult for them to understand or care about others’ emotions.
Importance of Patterns Over Time
A single instance of self-centered behavior doesn’t necessarily indicate narcissism. However, a consistent pattern of such behavior, particularly when combined with other traits, is a strong indicator of narcissism.
The Key Differences Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder & Narcissistic Traits
The key differences between NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and narcissistic traits are their severity and impact on daily life. 3
While narcissistic traits may appear occasionally in individuals, NPD is a chronic, pervasive condition that affects relationships and an individual’s ability to function.
Unlike fleeting traits, NPD is a diagnosable disorder much like depressive disorder and requires treatment, such as medication and therapy.
The Primary Causes Of NPD
NPD is a complex condition influenced by a combination of environmental and biological elements that contribute to the development of most narcissistic traits.
Genetic Factors
Studies have suggested that genetic factors can influence the development of narcissistic traits or NPD.4
If you have a family history of personality disorders, then there’s a chance that it will contribute to any traits or symptoms you display.
However, genetics alone doesn’t determine whether a person will become a narcissist or suffer from NPD, and it certainly doesn’t seal one’s fate as a narcissist.
Childhood Experiences
Childhood experiences, notably those related to excessive praise or extreme neglect, can contribute to the development of narcissism.
Early emotional wounds, such as a lack of validation, overly spoiling children, or inconsistent parenting, may become the foundation that shapes a narcissistic personality.
Simply put
To curb narcissistic traits in children, parents should encourage empathy, praise effort over ability, and model respectful relationships.
Cultural Heritage
Cultural heritage and influences, such as mainstream emphasis on individualism, success, appearance, and popularity, can foster narcissistic traits.
Many cultures reward self-promotion and material value or success, meaning that narcissism may become more prevalent in these countries.
Media and social standards also have a considerable influence on narcissistic behaviors.
Understanding the 12 Traits of a Narcissist
Narcissists typically exhibit multiple traits at once, and a person must display 5 or more of these traits to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Let’s expand on these traits further:
1. Gross Sense of Entitlement
A gross sense of entitlement is one of the main defining traits of a narcissist, as narcissists tend to believe they’re far superior to others and deserving of special treatment.
This inflated belief leads most narcissists to believe that their needs should be met without question.
2. Need for Admiration or Attention
Narcissists need admiration or attention to validate their existence.
They regularly strive for praise and recognition, often at the expense of those around them.
3. Lack of Empathy
Lack of empathy is another defining trait of narcissists who battle to comprehend or care about other people’s feelings.
This indifference can manifest as harmful behaviors such as manipulation, poor listening skills, victim-blaming, and minimal forgiveness.
4. Fragile Self-Esteem
Despite their facade of confidence, narcissists usually have fragile self-esteem because their sense of worth depends on external validation.
Therefore, they’re quite sensitive to rejection, criticism, or perceived failure and typically react to such outcomes defensively to maintain their self-image.
5. Feelings of Arrogance & Superiority
Narcissists display feelings of arrogance and superiority, believing they’re better than others.
This attitude can mask deeper insecurity or fear and often alienates the people around them.
6. Manipulative & Exploitive Behavior
Manipulative and exploitative behavior is a common trait among narcissists because they often use others to achieve their own goals.
Narcissists may deceive or manipulate others for personal gain, often damaging relationships and trust.
7. Envy & Belief in Others Envy
Narcissists often experience envy towards the success of others while also believing that people are envious of them.
This contradiction of thoughts fuels their competitive nature, and many narcissists may attempt to undermine others to maintain their ‘perceived’ superiority.
8. Obsession With Power & Success
An obsession with power and success is the driving force behind many narcissists’ goals.
A narcissist will often forsake ethics and personal relationships and fixate on achieving status, wealth, or some type of control.
9. Lack of Boundaries
Narcissists tend to have a lack of respect for personal boundaries and may intrude on others’ privacy, time, and space.
This type of violation can be frustrating and often leads to conflicts in personal and professional relationships.
10. Emotional Volatility
Emotional volatility is a trait where narcissists experience mood swings and intense emotional reactions, sometimes for even the simplest of reasons.
Their emotions can shift dramatically from confidence to rage when their self-esteem is threatened, making their behavior unpredictable and a challenge to navigate.
11. Fear of Loss or Rejection
Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of loss or rejection, which can influence many of their controlling or manipulative behaviors.
Narcissists may act out when they feel something is a threat to their relationships or status.
12. Relationship Issues
Narcissists often struggle with keeping healthy relationships and may be manipulative.
Narcissists have great trouble sustaining healthy relationships due to their self-centered behavior and lack of regard for others’ feelings.
Their manipulative actions and inconsistent emotions can push others away, meaning that over time, they might find themselves isolated or in toxic relationships.
5 Top Tips For Coping With Narcissists
It may be challenging, but with a few strategies, you can better cope with narcissists.
The 5 top tips for coping with narcissists are a delicate balance that requires determination, kindness, clear strategies, and self-care
Here’s what you need to know:
Set Clear Boundaries
Set clear boundaries defining the type of behavior that’s unacceptable to protect yourself from being exploited or manipulated.
Ensure that you consistently uphold boundaries, as it’s vital for both your well-being and that of the narcissist.
Respond Instead of Reacting
Responding instead of reacting helps maintain control when interacting with a narcissist, helping you to stay calm and avoid any emotional outbursts that might be used against you.
A measured response can help diffuse tense situations.
Demand Action Instead of Promises
Demand action instead of accepting promises from a narcissist, as they’ll often use promises as a way to deflect accountability.
Therefore, insist on tangible steps and measurable outcomes to prevent a narcissist from avoiding responsibility.
Self-Care & Support
Prioritizing self-care and a trusted support system is essential when dealing with a narcissist or self-centered behavior.
Focus on self-reflection, seeking support from others, and engaging in activities (like yoga or meditation) that can help you stay grounded.
You can also look for online resources and books focused on narcissism to provide further understanding and methods to cope.
Any books by Nancy McWilliams and the Psychology in Seattle podcast are some highly recommended starting points.
Consider Professional Help
Consider seeking professional help, as therapy can provide effective coping strategies.
It’ll also provide a 3rd party support system, especially if you feel unable to communicate with family and friends.
What to Do if You’re in a Relationship with a Narcissist
Weighing the Emotional Impact
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can enact a heavy toll on your emotional and mental well-being.
The emotional impact of being in a relationship with a narcissist can be profound and spiral into feelings of frustration, confusion, and emotional exhaustion.
You may experience long-term emotional distress from constant manipulation, volatile behavior, and a lack of empathy, which, if not handled properly, could lead to mental health problems.
Deciding When to Walk Away
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a relationship with a narcissist may become too toxic to sustain. Deciding to walk away is a personal decision that requires careful consideration of your well-being and happiness.
Evaluate the impact of the relationship on your mental and emotional health. If the relationship consistently undermines your self-esteem or causes distress, it may be time to consider ending it.
Exhibit More Than 5 Of These Traits? Here’s What To Do
If you display narcissistic traits, recognition is the first step.
Recognizing narcissistic traits in yourself can be an opportunity for growth and change. Approach this realization with honesty and a willingness to work on self-improvement.
Self-Reflection and Awareness
Take time to reflect on your actions and their impact on others. Journaling can be a helpful tool for exploring your thoughts and emotions, giving you insights into behavioral patterns that may need adjustment.
Self-improvement practices, such as mindfulness and emotional regulation, may also help to minimize destructive patterns.
Therapy and Counseling
Therapy can be instrumental in addressing narcissistic traits. A therapist can help you understand the underlying causes of your behavior and develop healthier ways of relating to others.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in challenging distorted thinking patterns and fostering more adaptive behaviors. Therapy provides a supportive environment to explore personal challenges and set goals for personal growth.
Developing Empathy and Understanding
Empathy involves recognizing and validating the emotions of others, even if you don’t agree with them.
Engage in activities that promote empathy, such as volunteering or participating in group discussions that require you to consider different viewpoints. These experiences can help you connect with others on a deeper level.
Building Healthy Self-Esteem
Developing a healthy sense of self-esteem involves recognizing your strengths and weaknesses without relying on external validation. Focus on setting realistic goals and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small.
Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth and provide honest feedback. Building a strong support network can reinforce positive changes and help you maintain a balanced perspective on your self-worth.
Importance of Early Recognition
Early recognition of narcissistic traits is key for preventing long-term damage to relationships and mental health.
Identifying these traits can lead to timely intervention, whether through therapy or supportive measures, empowering those affected and promoting a better quality of life.
Narcissism, whether as a trait or a personality disorder, can have profound effects on individuals and their relationships.
Understanding the 12 traits of a narcissist helps you identify and address the complexities and emotions that come with the resulting behaviors.
By recognizing these behaviors and implementing coping strategies, any person can preserve their well-being and meet challenges head-on.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What are the main differences between narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic traits are temporary behaviors that many people might display occasionally, while Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a chronic, diagnosable condition where a person exhibits at least 5 of the 12 narcissistic traits consistently. NPD significantly impacts daily functioning and relationships, requiring professional treatment like therapy and possibly medication, similar to other personality disorders.
How can I effectively cope with a narcissist in my life?
Effectively coping with a narcissist requires setting and consistently maintaining clear boundaries about unacceptable behaviors. Practice responding thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally, as narcissists may use emotional outbursts against you. Demand concrete actions rather than accepting promises, prioritize self-care, and build a support network of trusted individuals. Consider seeking professional help if the relationship causes significant distress or impacts your mental health.
What causes someone to develop narcissistic traits or NPD?
Narcissistic traits and NPD develop from a combination of factors. Genetics can predispose someone to personality disorders, but childhood experiences play a crucial role—both excessive praise and extreme neglect can contribute to narcissism. Cultural factors that emphasize individualism, success, appearance, and popularity can also foster narcissistic behaviors. No single factor determines narcissism; rather, it’s the interaction of biological predispositions and environmental influences.
What should I do if I recognize multiple narcissistic traits in myself?
If you recognize multiple narcissistic traits in yourself, start with honest self-reflection and awareness of how your behaviors impact others. Consider journaling to identify patterns and practice mindfulness to regulate emotions. Professional therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help challenge distorted thinking and develop healthier relationship patterns.
How does AMFM approach the treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
AMFM offers comprehensive treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder through a multifaceted approach. Our program includes individualized treatment planning, intensive clinical programming, and psychiatric care with medication management when needed. Clients receive weekly sessions with psychiatric providers, twice-weekly individual therapy, case management, and family therapy if clinically indicated.
