Do You Know the 12 Traits of a Narcissist?

Did you know that between 0.5 and 5% of the world’s population exhibits narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) traits? ¹

Understanding narcissistic traits is vital, whether you exhibit them or are influenced by a narcissist.

In this article, we’ll examine the 12 traits of a narcissist and provide some tips for dealing with them.

Read on to discover how to recognize narcissistic behavior and arm yourself with effective coping mechanisms…

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a relentless focus on self-importance or appearance, often at the expense of others’ needs.

The word ‘narcissism’ comes from the Greek myth regarding Narcissus, a god’s son who died of starvation due to his obsessive self-admiration. ²

This type of excessive self-admiration can evolve into a more severe form, known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

How To Identify A Narcissist?

To identify a narcissist, you can observe a person for traits such as an inflated sense of self-worth, a blatant lack of empathy or boundaries, and a constant need for attention.

Narcissists often use manipulative behavior and fight to keep healthy relationships, because their behavior is typically self-serving.

The Primary Causes Of NPD

The primary causes of NPD or narcissistic personality disorder, include genetic factors, early childhood experiences, and cultural heritage. ³

NPD is a complex condition influenced by a combination of environmental and biological elements that contribute to the development of most narcissistic traits.

Let’s dive in to learn more:

Genetic Factors

Studies have suggested that genetic factors can influence the development of narcissistic traits or NPD.

If you have a family history of personality disorders, then there’s a possible chance of it contributing to any traits or symptoms you display.

However, genetics alone doesn’t determine whether a person will become a narcissist or suffer from NPD, and it certainly doesn’t seal one’s fate as a narcissist.

Childhood Experiences 

Childhood experiences, notably those related to excessive praise or extreme neglect, can contribute to the development of narcissism.

Early emotional wounds, such as lack of validation, overly spoiling children, or inconsistent parenting, may become the foundation that shapes a narcissistic personality. 

Simply put

To curb narcissistic traits in children, parents should encourage empathy, praise effort over ability, and model respectful relationships.

Cultural Heritage

Cultural heritage and influences, such as mainstream emphasis on individualism, success, appearance, and popularity, can foster narcissistic traits.

Many cultures reward self-promotion and material value or success, meaning that narcissism may become more prevalent in these countries.

Media and social standards also have a high influence on narcissistic behaviors.

The Key Differences Between NPD & Narcissistic Traits

The key differences between NPD and narcissistic traits are their severity and impact on daily life.³

While narcissistic traits may appear occasionally in individuals, NPD is a chronic, pervasive condition that affects relationships and an individual’s ability to function.

Unlike fleeting traits, NPD is a diagnosable disorder, much like depressive disorder, that requires treatment, such as medication and therapy.

Understanding the 12 Traits of a Narcissist

Understanding the 12 traits of a narcissist involves recognizing patterns of behavior such as self-centeredness, manipulation, emotional volatility, and aggression.

Narcissists typically exhibit multiple traits at once, and a person must display 5 or more of these traits to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Let’s expand on these traits further:

Gross Sense of Entitlement

A gross sense of entitlement is one of the main defining traits of a narcissist, as narcissists tend to believe they’re far superior to others and deserving of special treatment.

This inflated belief leads most narcissists to believe that their needs should be met without question.

Need for Admiration or Attention

Narcissists need admiration or attention to validate their existence.

They regularly strive for praise and recognition, often at the expense of those around them.

Lack of Empathy

Lack of empathy is another defining trait of narcissists who battle to comprehend or care about other people’s feelings.

This indifference can manifest as harmful behaviors such as manipulation, poor listening skills, victim-blaming, and minimal forgiveness.

Fragile Self-Esteem

Despite their facade of confidence, narcissists usually have fragile self-esteem because their sense of worth depends on external validation.

Therefore, they’re quite sensitive to rejection, criticism, or perceived failure and typically react to such outcomes defensively to maintain their self-image.

Feelings of Arrogance & Superiority

Narcissists display feelings of arrogance and superiority, believing they’re better than others.

This attitude can mask deeper insecurity or fear and often alienates the people around them.

Manipulative & Exploitive Behavior

Manipulative and exploitative behavior is a common trait among narcissists because they often use others to achieve their own goals.

Narcissists may deceive or manipulate others for personal gain, often damaging relationships and trust.

Envy & Belief in Others Envy

Narcissists often experience envy towards the success of others while also believing that people are envious of them.

This contradiction of thoughts fuels their competitive nature and many narcissists may attempt to undermine others to maintain their ‘perceived’ superiority.

Obsession With Power & Success

An obsession with power and success is the driving force behind many narcissist’s goals.

A narcissist will often forsake ethics and personal relationships, and fixate on achieving status, wealth, or some type of control.

Lack of Boundaries

Narcissists tend to have a lack of respect for personal boundaries and may intrude on others’ privacy, time, and space.

This type of violation can be frustrating and often leads to conflicts in personal and professional relationships.

Emotional Volatility

Emotional volatility is a trait where narcissists experience mood swings and intense emotional reactions, sometimes for even the simplest of reasons.

Their emotions can shift dramatically from confidence to rage when their self-esteem is threatened, making their behavior unpredictable and a challenge to navigate.

Fear of Loss or Rejection

Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of loss or rejection, which can influence many of their controlling or manipulative behaviors.

Narcissists may act out when they feel something is a threat to their relationships or status.

Relationship Issues

Narcissists have great trouble sustaining healthy relationships due to their self-centered behavior and lack of regard for others’ feelings.

Their manipulative actions and inconsistent emotions can push others away, meaning that over time, they might find themselves isolated or in toxic relationships.

The Do’s & Don’t’s When Dealing With a Narcissist

When dealing with a narcissist, there are specific do’s and don’t’s to follow.

The Do’s:

• Learn more about NPD
• Watch for gaslighting or manipulative behavior
• Keep the conversations brief
• If you have to be around them, act interested
• Reminder yourself you’re not at fault
• Focus on your own needs
• Build your self-esteem
• Remain calm and grounded
• Admit when you need help
• Recognize that the narcissist needs help too

Engaging in positive strategies can empower you to manage interactions with a narcissist more effectively, thereby assisting your emotional strength and well-being.

The Don’t’s:

• Don’t tell them they’re wrong
• Don’t give in when they push your limits
• Don’t call them a liar
• Don’t directly confront them
• Don’t tell them how to do something
• Don’t argue with them
• Don’t expect them to see your viewpoint
• Don’t revisit old issues
• Don’t expect solid communication

Avoiding these common pitfalls can help you maintain your boundaries while navigating challenges created by conceited or harmful behavior.

The Emotional Impact of Narcissism

The emotional impact of narcissism on those around the narcissist can be profound – spiraling into feelings of frustration, confusion, and emotional exhaustion.

Family, friends, and colleagues close to a narcissist can experience long-term emotional distress from constant manipulation, volatile behavior, and lack of empathy.

Furthermore, for those who live with narcissistic traits or NPD, the internal conflict, shame over behavior, and fear of being vulnerable can lead to anxiety and loneliness when trying to connect meaningfully with others.

5 Top Tips For Coping With Narcissists

The 5 top tips for coping with narcissists is a delicate balance that requires determination, kindness, clear strategies, and self-care 

Here’s what you need to know:

Set Clear Boundaries

Set clear boundaries defining the type of behavior that’s unacceptable to protect yourself from being exploited or manipulated.

Ensure that you consistently uphold boundaries as it’s vital for both your well-being and that of the narcissist.

Respond Instead of Reacting

Responding instead of reacting helps maintain control when interacting with a narcissist, helping you to stay calm and avoid any emotional outbursts that might be used against you.

A measured response can help diffuse tense situations.

Demand Action Instead of Promises

Demand action instead of accepting promises from a narcissist as they’ll often use promises as a way to deflect accountability.

It’s important to insist on tangible steps and measurable outcomes to prevent a narcissist from avoiding responsibility.

Self-Care & Support

Prioritizing self-care and a trusted support system is essential when dealing with a narcissist or self-centered behavior.

Taking care of your emotional and mental health will lessen the stress caused by a narcissist’s behavior.

You can rely on friends, family, or professionals for guidance and support.

Consider Professional Help

Consider seeking professional help as therapy can provide effective coping strategies.

It’ll also provide a 3rd party support system, especially if you feel unable to communicate with family and friends.

How Can Therapy & Self Improvement Help?

Therapy and self-improvement can help narcissists recognize and manage their destructive behaviors.

By increasing self-awareness and fostering empathy, you can take steps to have a healthier mindset and better relationships.

Self-improvement practices, such as mindfulness and emotional regulation, may help to minimize destructive patterns.

Let’s discuss further:

Importance of Early Recognition

Early recognition of narcissistic traits is key for preventing long-term damage to relationships and mental health.

Identifying these traits can lead to timely intervention, whether through therapy or supportive measures, empowering those affected and promoting a better quality of life.

Managing Narcissistic Behavior

Managing narcissistic behavior requires consistency, clear communication, and emotional distance. 

While therapy can help narcissists address their behavior, managing their tendencies also involves accountability from the people closest to them. 

A structured approach is essential to limit harmful interactions and maintain healthy approaches.

Maintaining Your Well-Being

Maintaining your well-being when dealing with a narcissist requires prioritizing self-care and personal boundaries. 

Focus on self-reflection, seeking support from others, and engaging in activities (like yoga or meditation) that can help you stay grounded.

Therapy & Medication Options

Therapy and medication options for narcissists may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and antidepressants or mood stabilizers if other mental health issues coexist. ⁴

These treatments aim to increase self-awareness and reduce harmful behaviors. 

You can also look for online resources and books focused on narcissism to provide further understanding and methods to cope.

For example

Any books by Nancy McWilliams and the Psychology in Seattle podcast are some highly recommended starting points.

Motivating Positive Change

Motivating positive change in a narcissist can be difficult but is possible with consistent effort and therapy. 

Building empathy and self-reflection is key to fostering change. 

Family and friends may also need to adjust expectations to focus on small steps and little wins.

In Conclusion

Narcissism, whether as a trait or a personality disorder, can have profound effects on individuals and their relationships. 

Understanding the 12 traits of a narcissist equips you with tools to navigate the complexities and emotions that come with the resulting behaviors of these traits.

By recognizing these behaviors and implementing coping strategies, any person can preserve their well-being while managing any challenges.