The Importance of Healthy Self Esteem and basic techniques and guidelines for creating a healthy self-esteem.
Being Your Own Best Friend – The Importance of Healthy Self-Esteem
Being able and willing to look back at childhood challenges through the eyes of an adult has been a tremendous vehicle for my own personal growth over the past 10 years. In no area has this been truer than the subject of self-esteem. While all kids (teenagers especially) wrestle with the awkwardness of puberty and slowly transitioning to the adult roles they will eventually play, most figure it out without too many permanent scars. But some, it seems to me, handle the process more smoothly than most. They’re typically no smarter, athletically inclined or attractive than others. There’s just something on the inside that seems to give them an emotional edge in dealing with the feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy that go with being a teen.
Below I have listed some basic techniques and guidelines for creating a healthy self-esteem.
Building healthy self-esteem takes time, but can be done by consistently following a few guidelines:
1. You’re a winner just for playing the game of life. No matter what you’ve accomplished or failed at in your life until now, that does not make you more or less worthy than anyone else. Look in the mirror and give yourself the biggest, most genuine smile you can muster. You don’t need to be perfect…just willing to go out and give it your best shot today.
2. Celebrate your successes and your efforts. Just as we need to be accountable for fixing our mistakes, we should also learn to give ourselves pats on the back…even if just for giving our best effort. As much as we would like to hope that others will recognize our efforts and accomplishments, it doesn’t always happen. If you’re always waiting for someone else’s praise, you unintentionally put your emotional well-being into the hands of others.
3. Compete with your own personal best. At the end of the day, there is nothing more esteeming than knowing you’ve given 100% of your effort in the areas of your life that are most important to you. Whether it’s parenting, professional endeavors or any of the other roles that we play daily, each of us has a unique blend of skills, knowledge, talents and insights to apply to the tasks at hand. Knowing that we’ve done the most with what we have and that we’re trying to improve from the day before is all anyone (including ourselves) can ask of us.
4. Stop beating yourself up. We all make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are our primary means of learning as we go through life. At any point in any day, we all make decisions and take the actions that we think are best. Sometimes, we later learn, we were wrong. Rather than beating yourself up, take stock in the lessons learned and tell yourself, “Next time, I’ll do differently”.
5. Hold yourself accountable for everything you do and correct the mistakes that you can. Good or bad, each of us is 100% responsible for the outcomes of our actions. Giving yourself a break for past errors becomes infinitely easier when you simultaneously develop the habit of acknowledging your mistakes and trying to repair any damage as quickly as possible. Failing to do so actually erodes self-esteem.
The irony of developing a healthier level of self-esteem is that other people benefit just as much as we do, and in some cases maybe more. Socially, we treat others with greater respect and become more tolerant of others who are different from us. We are also less likely to engage in behaviors that harm people (physically or emotionally). Professionally, we willingly engage ourselves in tasks and projects with uncertain outcomes. But perhaps most importantly, we set lasting examples for the young people in our lives. Whether for our own kids or for those whose paths we cross only on occasion, role modeling the attitudes and behaviors associated with healthy self-esteem passes on a gift far more valuable than anything money could ever buy.A
A Mission for Michael, a Drug Alcohol Treatment Center in Orange County is here to help. Whether you have simple self-esteem questions and need basic strategies or having severe emotional self esteem issues, please give us a call,we would love to talk to you.